Survival Tips for Worn-Out Mothers

Writes

I’m one of five kids, so my mum knows all about exhaustion. One of her favourite bedtime stories for us was ‘Five minutes peace’ by Jill Murphy.

Poor Mrs Large tried her very best to have a few minutes away from her busy family of four at breakfast-time. But they follow her and join her in the bath. I’m sure we’ve all been there!

Wrongs

One of the hardest things about parenting young children is finding those moments of alone-time, where you can catch your breath and feel your own skin – without something sticky or human attached to it. One of the hardest things about Christian parenting is learning to share those rare moments with God. We used to have amazing quiet times before we had children and were too exhausted – didn’t we?

You’ve either sunk here, wishing you’d made the most of those days, or you’re looking back on those days with wonder at how you ever did it. Because the reality is that every time you close your eyes to pray now – you fall asleep.

Beating yourself up

I used to beat myself up about this, constantly setting myself new goals – I will do this, or do that – and failing miserably. I’m a naturally distracted person. Several times a day I will pick up my phone to send an important message, and find that I don’t do that at all, because some notification or other distracts me and by the time I’ve dealt with that, I have no idea what I picked my phone up for in the first place.

Don’t beat yourself up!

As time has gone on, I’ve felt less guilty about what I can’t do, and have tried to focus on what I can do. I can scroll through Prayer-mate while I’m putting the kids to bed – sure, my prayers won’t be focused in between telling them to stop singing to themselves and just go to sleep – but unfocused prayers are better than no prayers at all.

I can listen to the Audio Bible while I’m walking the dog after the school run – sure, it’s not an in-depth Bible study – but it’s still soaking in the word, and that’s better than nothing.

I can commit to getting to a daytime Bible group once a week – I may be too tired to go out in the evenings, but if I can take my toddler with me, I can still do a Bible study. Sure, I’ll be distracted and unfocused again but if I’m having a bad day, my sisters in Christ can pray over me. And occasionally, I might even learn something.

I can make the most of the time I have.

Remember God’s grace

I have also learnt that God wants a relationship with me. He doesn’t want me to satisfy a certain number of credentials or show my devotion in a set number of ways. That is law, not grace. Grace loves unconditionally and is based on the lovingkindness of my God, not based on my abilities.

And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. (Galatians 2:20-21)

Songs?

This is a poem, not a song. But I hope it speaks to your heart about taking precious moments. Try finding a place of solace – in this case a sofa in front of a warm fire – where you can take five minutes. And in those five minutes, try not just to rest physically, but to rest in the goodness of God: Silently meander into wandering thoughts, memories of goodness, blessing and grace.

Your thoughts may not be coherent, but that doesn’t matter. God knows. He understands. And he loves you.

Even if you’ve spent all day with a toddler who screams 24/7 (yes, I’ve had one of those), thank God for them, because as hard as they are, you know you wouldn’t want to lose them. Remember the good times, and thank God for them, because they will come again, and you only need to keep going until then. Sometimes, just surviving is enough. Thank God for that.

Solace of a worn-out Mother

I don’t want to move from this place.

As myriad tasks threaten to move me,
threaten to distract and quicken my pace –
I don’t want to move from this place.

Flickering flames over whitened logs,
Just enough flicker to warm my face.
I don’t want to move from this place.

The comfort of reclining, rare resting of my head,
sinking into waves of lace,
I don’t want to move from this place.

The darkness of the blackened glass,
Allows a journey to a distant space,
Silently meandering into wandering thoughts,
Memories of goodness, blessing and grace,
I don’t want to move from this place.

Now it’s time to stand,
a caller takes my hand,
It’s time to move from this place.
I’ll come here again,
for five or even for ten,
Minutes of solace, moments of space.

I’ll come here again, come back to my place.