Despair Turns into Hope

Thoughts from the Song, Redeemer of Life, in The Wanderer Reborn.

I sang of despair, eyes flowing without ceasing;
Yahweh from heaven looked down and saw.
I called on His name from the depths of the pit;
He heard my plea and took up my cause.

Redeemer of life, all-sufficient one,
Help me grasp the heights of your love for me.
Quieten my thoughts, fill me anew
With songs of your goodness, faithfulness, truth.

My soul continues to remember its pain.
It stays bowed down ’til I call to mind
That the steadfast love of Yahweh never ceases;
His mercies are new every moment of time.

‘Yahweh is my portion,’ says my soul;
Therefore, I will trust and hope in you.
For you do good to those who wait;
Perfect salvation, you will demonstrate.

Despair turns into hope.
Food for my soul; food for my soul.
Despair turns into hope.
Yahweh make me whole; make me whole!

Redeemer of life, all-sufficient one,
Help me grasp the heights of your love for me.
Quieten my thoughts, fill me anew
With songs of your goodness, faithfulness, truth.

Redeemer of Life © Natasha Woodcraft, 2022

Susan Sanderson in her review blog for The Wanderer Reborn said she would sum up the book with the phrase “Despair turns into hope”, a lyric from one of the songs in the book. Indeed it is, and I wish I’d thought of using it as a tagline!

So, on the day of the book’s publication, I thought it would be nice to share this song with you and explain a little about the story through these lyrics. The song ‘Redeemer of Life’ in Chapter 4 is a turning point for Awan, who is the central character in The Wanderer Reborn. Awan is Havel’s twin sister and was also very close to her older brother, Kayin. Until this point in the story, she has been consumed by grief at the loss of both her brothers. Once the third child, she is now thrown into the circumstance of being the oldest, with all the responsibility that entails and she is also exceptionally lonely. She is struggling in faith too, not being able to form new songs to her God, Yahweh, when (before the tragedy) they used to flow freely. 

“Most of the time, I was unable to find new words. So, I sang the old songs, hoping that if I persisted for long enough, the feelings expressed in them would eventually become real again. 

I sang of Elohim – our rock, deliverer and hiding place in times of trouble. I sang of His greatness, although I couldn’t comprehend it; I sang of His love, although I couldn’t feel it; and I sang of His goodness, although I didn’t see it. It wasn’t that I had ceased to believe that Yahweh was my salvation; I just felt so numb.”

The Wanderer Reborn, Natasha Woodcraft

It takes a while for her to find comfort, for the feelings expressed in the songs to become real again. The Wanderer Reborn is the story of how Awan finds healing and reconciliation.

How?

I sang of despair, eyes flowing without ceasing;
Yahweh from heaven looked down and saw.

The first thing to note is, we can sing of despair. We can be real with God. He doesn’t want a whitewashed faith where we pretend everything is alright, but a genuine relationship. He does not leave us in our sorrow, even if it sometimes feels that way. 

I called on His name from the depths of the pit;
He heard my plea and took up my cause.

There is something special about calling on God’s name. I have recently started using the Hebrew names sometimes for God in my prayers. That won’t be for everyone, but the point is this: ‘God’ is a noun, “Yahweh” is His name. He reveals Himself to us in a personal way. To not use this name is a bit like me calling my husband “Husband” instead of “Ben.” That’s not his name – and it feels impersonal. 

Of course, we can speak to Jesus using His name, and He also encouraged us to call the Father, “Abba”, which is an informal rendering, like Daddy. I hope that the names used in my books will help you grow closer to God as you become more familiar with them.  

There is also the matter of honour. Time and again in the Bible (and in my novels) we are told that Yahweh is concerned for the glory of His name. This means we should not misuse it! In fear of that misuse, many have avoided using it over the centuries. But also, it means He will defend it. If we call on His name, He listens. 

Redeemer of life, all-sufficient one,
Help me grasp the heights of your love for me.

Don’t you just love that passage in Ephesians 3:14-19:

For this reason I kneel before the Father,from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

At the river, before this song is composed, Yahweh reveals to Awan his sufficiency for her. In one word, He affirms that He loves her and will provide for all her needs. And we have this affirmed for us in Christ Jesus! We may not feel like God loves us at any given moment, but Jesus proves that He does! Will you pray this prayer for yourself? Don’t feel abashed in doing so – it is His will for you that you may know the heights of His love for you! It is His will that you be filled with all His fulness, that He becomes sufficient for you and you have joy in Him. 

Quieten my thoughts, fill me anew
With songs of your goodness, faithfulness, truth.

As mentioned, this song is a turning point for Awan. She finds ‘her song’ again as she relies on the Lord and opens her heart to Him. And what preceded it? Confession. She receives the Lord’s words as she kneels on the riverbank. What precedes us receiving the fullness of God? Christ dwelling in our hearts through faith (see above). Through confession, faith and prayer, we can be filled anew as well. 

Singing might not be your heart language, but the Lord will quicken your heart again if you ask Him to. It has been my experience. It was fictitious Awan’s experience. I pray that it will be yours also. It may take time! 

For you do good to those who wait; but Perfect salvation, you will demonstrate.

I ask Yahweh now that, whatever you are going through, Despair would turn into hope. And hope is most certainly food for the soul. 

The Wanderer Reborn is available now directly from me here and in all good bookstores.

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